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Prayer Tools

by MT Sullivan

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1.
call me back please let me know what it is that I need to let go I've got all these scars on my face and a whole bunch of blood that's out place I seem to always have a giggle on my mind there's something so hilarious about time and all these people trying to pick up dimes if they ever looked up who knows what they'd find stars that explode and stars that blind blackholes that eat away at time like the gravity between yours and mine love's the only thing.
2.
goin down to the other side of town goin to see some friends of mine; gonna see what's on their mind do you have the time to tell me what you find when you go searching for the truth when you go looking for what's you beauty in a dark place do you have room to give it space can you touch can you see can you smell all the things that have kept you well? every locked door every broken key everything forgotten every broken memory every river every stream every poem every dream has brought you back to me
3.
You lead. 02:01
I'm at the edge of my seat at the end of the world, but you still see me as just a little girl. I remember you when you were just a little child when hope ran through your veins and you were beautiful and wild. You lead. I'm walking through the night and I'm wondering where you are is that a commit that I see or just a shooting star I don't know what to do and I don't know what to say I wanna ask you but you're so far away You lead. No matter where I go I will take a part of you and no matter how old you'll have a part of me too. Golden hearts together even when they're black and blue honest to the bone and buried int he truth. You lead.
4.
I only run because I want to be closer to you I only scream because I want to conceal what is true I hold you until the sky turns blue I hold you until I know what to do It seems like you read my mind almost every other day I like how you read my mind so I know just what to say the silence speaks so loud
5.
cents//sense 02:52
oh it's raining here, what about you and where you are? where have you been this year? have you stayed home or have you traveled far? What did you find when you sunk down deep inside? Still, in my mind. Stealing hours, stealing time They tried to break me, but I'm always trying to break free. They tried to break in, but they only made it as far as the skin. In my mouth, that's where the words live in a house built, built with brick, that's where they lay their heads and sleep in all their dreams keep them from ever waking up early to spend days, wasted days working so hard trying to get paid cents, it makes no sense you can't buy back the time you spent
6.
I don't want to let you go thank you for letting me know that all my love was not for granted here's to taking chances how my heart was broken how my silence spoken fears fell down just like rain pain is pain by any name did you hear it rain? could you hear me sing all the songs I wrote about you I swear every word was true and will always be
7.
I laid down my head to feel I don't want to care for fear give them something they can feel give them something they can steal take it with you anywhere anywhere you go let your mind bleed a little, then maybe you'll know happy to be no one, no one at all happy to dig a hole into which I will fall plant myself a person who I will become give myself some rain and give myself some sun who I was before I was nothing at all is who I will be before and after the fall after the fall
8.
I want to sing like Miles plays I long to see those darkened days when I can sit quietly at home and spend all my time alone I love the way the blackbird sings I love the frozen start of spring I love the way that winter dies I love the way the bluebird cries oh, that slipping feeling enters my mind and I start dreaming from time to time there's a slipping hair off my head and I remember all the things she said about how she had to let go and how I will someday know oh, that slipping feeling enters my mind and I start dreaming from time to time
9.
I used to drive mountains so slow I used to climb fields where no one goes I used to sleep roads where there's no light I used to build brick in silence at night I used to run fast on broken legs I used to sing songs with feet on my neck I used to dig a whole every spring where I would lay down to be nothing but now I'm just lost, nowhere to go like the lichen and the moss, grow so slow have I even changed at all? who am I now? like the caterpillar crawls on the ground
10.
sleepin in a cabin for several nights hope me and my baby don't get in a fight I'm always wrong but it's alright as long as we get back together at night I got an old dog he don't know how to lay he's getting too old to run away he stays by my side both night and day I'm pretty sure we even dream the same stars don't look the same from here daylight watch them disappear climb a mountain just to walk back down get to where I'm going then I turn around stars don't look the same from here a fireplace will keep you warm at night but not like your baby holding you tight with an old dog to warm your toes if there's a better feeling only heaven knows stars don't look the same from here daylight watch them disappear climb a mountain just to walk back down get to where I'm going then I turn around stars don't look the same from here
11.
Sequela 01:02
your mind keeps tripping and you keep slippin on things you haven't seen in a while your memory sustains but nothing remains of the things you held when you were a child the pain endures like you hadn't heard it's been time to let it go for awhile so just turn it around into a sound or a poem that could make somebody smile sequela
12.
I don't know if I'm capable of anything today I can feel the space between my teeth and all the words I say they told me to believe you but I just can't obey curiosity has found me in the gutter again nothing better tired and sleep run away from me I'm down but I can't settle yawnies come from my gut painted with green tea and nettle I wonder if I fit enough in is it surplus or is it deficient I try to walk fast and read real quick, but my gears are inefficient nothing better the blues are bad, but not as before rainy day wash me clean I spoke too soon, I spoke too slow, but you don't know what I mean I'm innocent and I'm also lost but my integrity is pristine I left too soon and I went too far, but I hope to see you again nothing better
13.
ugly lovers 01:38
thank God for everything I wanted that I didn't get thank God for the memories still filled with regret thank God for the broken hearts that I learned to let go thank God for the friends who passed me on their way back home I buried them in graveyards made from ashes in the snow we held hands as we both wandered where we ought to go thank God until now we didn't know where we would be back then we had futures ahead as far as we could see Thank God for the pains I felt in my head and in my hands for every broken step and for all the fallow land for every tree that falls and is caught in another's hands for every word you gave me that I don't understand
14.
looking at it from the other side I wish I had a chance to say goodbye an now you're gone and it's too late and that's the kind of thing in life I hate I hate that time seems to move so fast and I hate that nothing in this life will last and I hate that clouds disappear from the sky and no one has a good answer why and I loved the way you looked at me and I loved the way we talked so free I loved standing in the corner with you and I loved the way your face was blue and I loved the way your eyes were red and I loved all the silly stupid words that you said and I loved that we didn't have words at all and I loved how together into silence we'd fall
15.
creepen 02:25
it's been so long since I've been seen I wonder if I'm still me it's been so long since I've been heard I wonder if I still breathe it's been so long since we've talked, but I still remember what you say it's been so long since we walked by I still remember your gate creepin I'm a ghost to myself to somebody else if memory serves em right I talk to myself I scream and I yell I'm never alone at night I trim my beard the image is clear you just don't listen right creepin you can change who you are as long as nobody else is around you can speak just like a shooting star without even making a sound sometimes still silence is the sound that is most profound but I know a dog who said it well when he buried his bones in the ground creepin
16.
ready to go 02:23
hit the gas and hurry up, I'm way way past having had enough as many stars are in the sky, that's how many times they crossed my lines go, gotta go I take the blame almost every time my tears start to taste like blood and wine I'm the one who gets crucified when it's everybody else's ass on the line go, gotta go I should have left a long time ago but I've always been so, so slow at packing up and getting ready to leave so I guess in the end the problem is me go, gotta go

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released June 21, 2021

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MT Sullivan Asheville, North Carolina

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